Fairy Tale

“And the prince and the princess lived happily ever after…” pagtatapos ni Katrina sa kwento nya. Isinarado nya ang aklat na hawak at ibinalik sa bookshelf na kinalalagyan.

“Tita, more stories please. Di pa naman ako inaantok eh.” pagmamakaawa ni Fefe, ang paborito nyang pamangkin, at nag-beautiful eyes pa.

“Sorry kiddo. But my prince is waiting for me. Konti na lang at I’ll be living happily with him.”

“Uy si tita, lumalandi na.” Tukso ni Fefe.

Nagulat si Katrina sa narinig mula sa pamangkin nya. “Anong lumalandi na?! Saan mo naman natututunan ang mga salitang tulad niyan? Ke-bata-bata mo pa, Fefe. Baka mauna ka pang mag-asawa sakin, ha? ”

Natatawa na lang si Fefe. “Basta tita, tell me another story bukas ha?”

“Oo na. Sige na. Labas ka na muna, maghanda lang ako. Tsupi. Tsupi.”

“Okay tita. Good night na rin. Bye.” At tuluyan nang naiwang mag-isa si Katrina sa kwarto nya. Nagpalit ng damit, naglagay ng konting make-up. Ilang minuto pagkatapos nyang mag-ayos, tumawag na ang maid nila.

“Ma’am, may naghahanap po sa inyo.”

“Okay, sige. Susunod na lang ako.”

Tulad ng inaasahan, dumating na nga ang prince charming nya. Si Angelo. Gwapo pero walang ngiti sa kanyang mga labi. Ngunit hindi na sya nagtataka, dahil lagi naman itong seryoso. Kapag nagpatawa si Angelo, nangako si Katrina na magpapamisa sya.

Pagkakita ni Angelo sa kanya, sabay itong tumayo at lumapit sa kanya, upang kunin ang kanyang mga kamay.

“Tara.” Pagyayaya ni Angelo kay Katrina.

Dumeretso na silang dalawa sa kotse. “San mo gustong pumunta?” tanung ni Angelo

“Ewan ko. Ikaw na ang bahala. Kahit nga dito lang eh okay na ako. Basta magkasama tayo.” Sagot ni Katrina.

“Okay. Sige.” Walang kaemosyong-emosyong sagot ni Angelo. At tuluyan na nilang nilisan ang lugar ni Katrina.

Unang dinaanan nila ang isang pamilyar na park. Yung paborito nya. Dun sila unang nagkita ni Angelo habang ipinapasyal nya si Katrina. Tahimik pa rin silang dalawa. Bababa sana si Katrina para malibot ang lugar. Hindi naman madilim ang lugar. Punung-puno kasi ng ilaw. Ang ganda. Subalit pinigilan sya ni Angelo, mahigpit sya nitong hinwakan at umiling lang. Hindi naman sya nagreklamo. Nagtataka sya sa ipinapakita nito ngayon, pero hindi muna sya nagkomento. Ayaw nyang magsalita ng tapos.

Pagka-alis nila ng park, pumunta naman sila sa isang hospital. Ang pangalawang beses nilang pagkikita. Dito kasi sya naka-duty. Noong student nurse pa sya. Kasama ni Angelo ang isang kaibigan noon.

Ang sweet ng mokong. Anu kayang plano nito? Hmmm.sa isip-isip ni Katrina. Ang sarap talagang balikan ng nakaraan no?

Sunod nilang tinungo ang simbahan, pangatlong beses nilang pagkikita. Dun na sila unang nagkausap. Nagkakwentuhan. Nagkuhanan ng cellphone numbers. At nagsilbing hudyat ng pagmamahalan nila.

Hindi na nya kailangang mag-isip ng matagal para mahulaan ang sunod nilang pupuntahan. Isang restaurant. Unang date nila. Pangalawa. Pangatlo. At sunud-sunod pa. Pinakapaborito nyang lugar ito. At dun nga sya dinala ni Angelo.

Inalalayan sya nito sa pagbaba nya ng sasakyan. At tinungo nila ang paboritong spot nya doon, na may nakalagay na maliit na karatulang “reserved”. For sure e para sa kanila yun.

Inihanda nito ang pag-upo nya. Nakakatuwang isiping hanggang ngayon eh may mga gentlemen pa rin (tulad ng author).

“Order ka na.” utos ni Angelo sa kanya.

“May problema ba?” sagot nya, sa halip na umorder sya.

“Wa-wala naman. Order ka na.”

“Usual order ako.”

“Waiter!”

Habang naghihintay. . .

“Magpaliwanag ka nga. Anong ibig sabihin nito?” matigas na tanung ni Katrina.

“Hindi ko alam.”

“Anong hindi ko alam?”

“Hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko. Kahit ako eh gulung-gulo na rin.” Sagot ni Angelo.

“Mahal mo pa ba ako?”

Matagal bago samagot si Angelo. “Oo.”

“Anong gusto mong mangyari satin?” kinakabahang tanung ni Katrina. Ayaw man nyang marinig, pero sigurado syang yung ang lalabas sa mga bibig ni Angelo.

“Makikipagbreak sana ako sayo.”

“Yun ba ang gusto mo.” Tanung ni Katrina. “O, sige.”

“So, aalis na ba ako? Salamat sa pag-aaya.”

“Kumain ka na muna.”

“Okay.” Napaka-kaswal nya. Ayaw nyang ipakitang mahina sya.

Pagkatapos nilang kumain…

“Sige. Ihahatid na kita.” Pag-aaya ni Angelo.

“Sigurado ka na ba?”

“Saan?”

“Sabi mo mahal mo pa in ako. Pero nakikipag-break ka. Ayos ka rin, tol.”

Tahimik lang si Angelo.

“Kapag iniwan mo ako ngayon, wala ka ng babalikan.” Pagbabanta ni Katrina.

“I don’t know. Basta ang alam ko, love never surrenders. But people do. Please always remember that. And me, if you can.”

“Okay. Gusto ko nang umuwi.” Sagot nya. Nais sana nyang idugtong, para hindi na ako nahihirapang pigilin ang sakit at luha.

Pagdating niya sa bahay, unang nakita nya si Fefe.

“Tita, hindi ako makatulog. Kwentuhan mo let ako. Fairy tale let.”

“Gabi na masyado. Tsaka, pagod na ako.”

“Please tita.”

“WALA NG KWENTO! WALA NG FAIRY TALE!” kahit si Katrina ay nagulat sa pagtataas nya ng boses sa pamangkin. At napaluha sya. “Sorry. Hindi ko sinasadyang pagtaasan ka ng boses.”

Sa halip na umalis ay nanatili lamang nakatayo si Fefe at nagtanung, “May problema po ba tita?”

Napaluha lalo si Katrina.

“Tahan na po kayo tita.” Napaluha na rin si Fefe.

“Eto ang tandaan mo. Hindi ako bida sa isang fairy tale… Para maging masaya habang buhay..”

At nagyakap ang mag-tita.

Kadugo

Hindi ko alam kung kelan nagsimula, kung saan at paano. Basta nahuli ko na lang ang sariling puso kong tumitibok para kay Mitch. Isa ako sa mga minalas na makaramdam ng pagmamahal sa ipinagbabawal. Anu bang magagawa ko? Lahat nga ng bawal eh masarap di ba?

Minsan, ang sarap balikan ng nakaraan. Minsan naman ay para itong isang bangungot na nais mong takasan. Sa kaso ko, hindi ko alam kung paano ako ituturing ang aking nakaraan. Ngayon ay nagbabalik ako sa aming lumang tirahan. Ang gusaling naging saksi sa aking pagtangis, pangangarap, pagmamahal at paglisan. Sa pagbabalik kong ito, hindi ko maiwasang hindi maalala si Mitch.

Si Mitch. Ang babaeng aking pinakamamahal sunod kay ina. Sa edad nya dating labing-lima, nagtaglay na sya ng kakaibang ganda, natatanging halina. Noon ako ay labing-syam na taong gulang. Sa murang isipan, nilamon kami ng kapusukan. Alam ko, at alam ni Mitch na hindi lang basta paghahanap ng init ng katawan ang hanap namin. May mas mataas pa. Forbidden love. Sariwa pa bagong huling isda ang mga ala-ala namin ni Mitch. Simula sa simpleng pagdadampi n gaming mga kamay sa paggawa ng mga gawaing bahay hanggang sa pasikretong pagkikita namin sa kanyang kwarto.

Sa batang edad namin, dala na rin siguro ng pagmamahal at kuryosidad, hindi napigilan ng aming mga katawan ang pagsilakbo ng init. Isang linggo ng umaga, habang walang tao sa bahay naganap ang hindi inaasahan.

Noong una, kinakabahan pa kami pareho. Pero hindi nagtagal at bumigay na kami sa kasayahang dulot ng ginawa namin. Ang sarap sa pakiramdan. Habang tahimik. Feeling naming eh kami sina Adan at Eba bago ipanganak si Cain. Paraiso!

Gusto ko sanang ikwento ang buong detalye mula sa pagplano ng pagpasok naming sa kwarto hanggang sa kung paanu kami nakalabas. Pero, naalala ko na may mga kasintanda ni Mitch ang maaaring nagbabasa na nito ngayon. Ayokong mapariwara ang buhay nila tulad ng pagkasira ng buhay ni Mitch dahil sa katangahan ko, sa kasakiman.

Kung paanong nagtapos ang maliligaya naming sandali ay hindi inaasahan. Nagising na lamang ako sa mumunting pag-iyak ni Mitch sa labas ng kwarto. Bago pa man ako nakalabas papuntang living room, ni hindi na nga akong nag-abalang magsuot pa ng damit o kahit brief man lang, nakasalubong ko na si Itay, dala and isang dos por dos.

“Walang hiya kang bata ka! Paano mo to nagawa sa kapatid mo?” pagalit na sigaw ni Itay habang pinapalo gamit ang kahoy sa aking mga binti. Sa kabilang dako ng bahay, rinig na rinig ko ang panaghoy ni Mitch, nagmamakaawa kay Itay. Nakikita ko syang nagpupumiglas sa mahigpit na pagkakahawak sa kanya ni Inay.

“Bakit sa kapatid mo pa?” sambit ni Inay, sa pagmamakawang boses. Nanunuot sa aking mga buto’t laman ang pagtangis nya. Hindi ko na nga magawang sumilip man lang sa kanya.

“Lumayas ka dito. Hayop ka! Wala akong anak na tulad mo!” dagdag ni itay.

“Kuya..” pahabol na sigaw ni Mitch.

Kahit sa kanya ay hindi ako makatingin. Walang lingon-likod kong tinungo ang aking kwarto. Nag-empake ng gamit at tuluyang nilisan ang aming tahanan.

Mula nang umalis ako ng bahay, hindi ko na muling nakita pa si Mitch kahit ang mga inay at itay. Wala akong naging ideya kung nagkaanak ba kami ng kapatid ko o hindi.

Nagsisisi naman ako sa ginawa kong paglapastangan sa pigging birhen ng aking nakababatang kapatid. Pero hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.

Huling Habilin

Ako, si Steven Reyes, Pilipino, nasa tamang edad, (sa wakas ay) nakasal kay Ashley Evangelista, ipinanganak noong ika-11 ng Nobyembre 1972, residente sa Taytay, Rizal, nasa matinong pag-iisip (sa awa naman ng Diyos), na kumikilos na naaayon sa sariling desisyon at hindi dahil sa pananakot ng iba, ay nagdedeklara na ang papel na ito ang katibayan ng aking Huling Habilin, sa Filipino, na wika ko.

Idinedeklara ko na:

1. Kapag namatay ako, nais kong ilibing ninyo ang aking mga labi sa ating mausoleum sa may Maynila, hindi sa kung saan-saang patay at maruming ilog ninyo ako itatapon kung ayaw nyong multuhin ko kayo.
2. Sa lahat ng aking mga naging anak: anak kay Ashley, anak kay Linda, anak kay Teresita, Soledad at anak sa iba pa (kung meron man akong naging anak sa tuhod at talampakan), inihahabilin ko sa inyo ang halos lahat ng pag-aari ko. At iyon ay kayo. Ingatan nyo sana ang isa’t-isa.
3. Sa aking mga kapatid, Troy, James at Greg: Salamat sa pag-ako at sa pananagutan nyo kina Linda, Teresita, Soledad at sa mga naging anak namin. Huwag kayong mag-alala. Tuluyan ko na silang inihahabilin sa inyo. Sana makuntento kayo.
4. Sa aking Assistant: Katrina, maraming salamat sa iyong magandang performance sa trabaho. Dahil sayo, umunlad ang aming negosyo. Salamat rin sa pag-extra mo sa amin, kapag busy si misis. Salamat at itinago mong lihim ang ating relasyon at ang relasyon namin ng iba pa. Kung hindi lang sana ako mamamatay na kaagad, ipo-promote sana kita. Pero, hayaan mo na. Ipinapaman ko na sa’yo ang mga pinaghirapan mo. Sa’yo na ang mga papeles mo. Huwag mo na lang tapusin ang mga yun.
5. Sa administrador ng testamentong ito: Wag mo munang ipapabasa ang dokyumentong ito sa asawa ko hangga’t nabubuhay pa ako. Maaring yun pa ang maging dahilan ng pagkamatay ko. Hayaan mo, may ipamamana rin ako sa’yo. Ang asawa ko.
6. Sa aking maybahay: Ashley Evangelista, siguro kapag nalaman mo ang tungkol sa testamentong ito, ay maghuramentado ka. Pero, may karapatan ka naming magalit e. Sana lang ay mapatawad mo ako sa aking mga nagawang kasalanan sa’yo. Wala akong maibibigay, maibabahagi o maipamamana sa’yo. Bukod sa puso ko. Kahit hindi kita masyadong napakain ng husay, nawa’y nabusog kita ng pagmamahal. Mahal kita.

Lahat ng nabanggit sa itaas ay pawing katotohanan lamang. Promise!

Sgd.

Steven Reyes

What A Fool I Am!

Who would have thought that the cold I would easily be tamed by a clumsy girl like Loraine?

It all started with linking me with Loraine. Well, I couldn’t deny the fact that she really has stunning beauty, Einstein-like intelligence, pleasing personality, an admiring confidence and a good sense of humor. But I was not really affected by it. It’s just that I didn’t care. Maybe I fell in love mainly because of her clumsiness above all those things.

I thought I was a wild horse. I knew I really was hard to be tamed. I was stubborn you would lose all of your stored energy to persuade me. But with Loraine, I was like a jellyfish. So soft. I was like a glass. So delicate. She did not put much effort just to capture my stone-built heart.

I was fond of Loraine’s clumsiness. She did not fail to make me love her every time she stumbled down the floor, fell from the first step of the stairs, and slipped accidentally on the wet sidewalk. During those times, I could just compare her to a mirror that would shatter immediately the time it reached the floor. So fragile. I had always wanted to catch her in my arms. I was always there for her. Beside her.

We got so close we were glued to the max. I could feel her intimate feelings for me. And she could feel my poignant love for her. I loved what I had felt inside me. A feeling that was hard to resist. I thought we were okay. So, Loraine thought too.

Like a hot potato, I immediately put away my grip on her. I tried to shoo her away.

I loved her. She loved me. It’s the main reason why I let her go. I was afraid I was not worthy of her. I was afraid I would hurt her. Physically and emotionally. She besought for my return. She cried a lot. But I showed her that I didn’t care.

But it is just now that I came to realize that the moment I let her go was also the same moment I hurt her.

And I knew that definitely, I was a jerk.

Soulmate

I had lived with the idea that all was fair in love and war. And I was right. At least, at first.

Once, in my life, there came a time when I had to force myself to believe that everyone of us had his or her own twin flame. Yes, twin flame. Someone whom I thought would join me for the rest of our lives. Someone I am comfortable to go with. Someone I love. And someone who loves me back.

Someone I thought named Stephanie. She was supposed to be my twin flame. My twin soul. My soulmate. If fate did not just meddle in our own business.

Stephanie was just a plain girl, with long braided hair, pinkish cheeks, reddish and kissable lips, tall and svelte. She was kind, respectful, thoughtful, lovable. I loved her. She loved me. We were happy.

I could not say that we really were compatible to be together. Our thoughts, ideas and outlooks in different aspects of life clash. Chaos was between us every time a squabble occurred. But she was the one who always tried to make things okay again. And I continued loving her because of that.

Steph and I were just two years married. Happily married. And after those two years, we got separated. Our lives were both destroyed. Our marriage expired. She was out of my life. She abandoned me. She chose Him over me. That was three years ago.

I thought she was my soulmate. I knew that might be possible or impossible. Maybe, she really was not. I tried to grieve over her death. I tried to move on. I tried to date other girls after two years, when I thought I was brave enough to face the real world again. I tried to look for my real soulmate.

Yeah. I tried but I failed. Over and over again. I was not able to move on. I was stuck in this lonely world. If she really were my soulmate, then why did she leave me so suddenly? So fast I had not readied myself. I didn’t actually need eternity with her. I just wanted to live with her until senility sucked our breaths. To enjoy our happy moments while they lasted. To have kids and grandsons and granddaughters. But we were deprived of those privileges. And I was deprived of her. My Steph.

Until now, I am still in love with Steph. I don’t think I could, I would and should re-marry. Because one Steph is enough for me.

Maybe the soulmate thing isn’t real. It’s just simply a mystical connotation. No evidence that it is true. I just washed away all the sad thoughts and was grateful that once in my life, I knew I loved and I was loved.

Is there really a soulmate for everyone?

If there is, then why am I alone in this world now?

Cameraman

Every time I see your sweet smile, tears start to fall down my cheeks. All the walls built around me begin to fall. I am afraid it would always be your last smile for me.

I have felt this for so long. The abnormal fast beating of the heart. Always remembering that person. Smiling consistently. Absent-mindedness. Trembling of hands and weakening of the knees and other body parts. Yes. You may think that I am physically ill and mentally disabled. But I know I am in love. Definitely in love.

With just a click on the camera, everyone with me flashed his sweetest and seductive smile. After the first take, it was my turn to capture the class’ pictures. That had always been our daily routine. My daily routine. I was gonna join in the first shoot, and then I would take the next pictures. I have done this voluntarily. I have always considered myself to be the cameraman or the photographer of the class. I know you are curious why.

I have always been addicted to her smile, partly innocent, partly seductive. I have always been touched or affected by it. Maybe that was the first reason why I fell in love with her. Since seeing her first smile on camera, I have always desired to capture every curving of her lips. That way, though we were not close, still I could see her smiling directly at me, looking into my eyes.

I don’t know if I were really obsessed with her. Well, I have just a collection of our class pictures. All from our classmates’ birthday celebrations, field trips, food trip, unexpected walks, etc. To tell you honestly, I have two folders of her in my archives. The first one consists of all of her pics taken by me and the second one, taken by others.

How sweet of me!

I have always readied myself for her last smile. But I have never given much thought to how it would look like. This one was much unexpected, striking. I was able to capture her last smile. But I was sad.

Everything has come to an end. My work as a photographer. My happiness. The cessation of flowing of my tears. The durability of the walls surrounding me. And most importantly, her life.

Her smile. Her smile of goodbye.

And true enough, my worst fear has come to haunt me. Forever.

I will always treasure her smiles. Gone was she, but not the memories.

Blind

I loved her so much. My life just revolved around her. I have her as my own sun. It might sound corny, but being corny sometimes was part of being in love.

I so loved her that I forgot everything about me. I forgot to hang-out with my friends. To attend mass with my family. To go to different restaurants to eat with my classmates. I almost forgot my name because of her. Yes, I thought I was really going crazy.

I was blinded by her beauty, humor, and intelligence. I gave all my time for her, making me ignore others. I was glad to see her thin lips forming into the cutest smile. I was happy to smell the most fragrant scent. I wanted to hear her jokes then her soft laughter. I desired to listen to her trivia, willing to know more about everything despite the fact that I loathed studying. Many things about me had changed. Because of her. I was not accustomed to change but eventually, I learned to accept it, thinking that change was good, sometimes.

Too bad, we were not together. I wasted all my time thinking of her, imagining that she was mine and I was hers. All this time, I was alone, forcing myself to enjoy this illusion.

I was blind enough not see other people loving me. I was blind enough not to notice you caring for me. I was busily loving the wrong person while you were waiting for me to love you too.

Sad. We both loved the wrong people.