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Friday, January 8, 2010

Blue Moon and Your Love

Tonight is a peaceful night for me but not for my heart.

I am standing here inside my bedroom, trying to take a slight glimpse of you outside through the small hole created by a stray bullet last New Year celebration.

It’s slightly dim inside. All lights are off. But outside, the gleaming sun is slowly hiding at the back of the mountains.

Memories of our past are striking my mind tonight. It is really a good time to reminisce now. But I don’t want to because the act of reminiscing pains my already wounded heart.

It’s very ironic. I really want to escape from you and from our moments when we were still together. But here I am, acting as Peeping Tom, waiting for naked Lady Godiva to come.

For not a very long time, I have waited for you. Almost in vain. The moon has just emerged from its concealment. It’s a full moon. But NOT an ordinary full moon.

I am still hoping for the impossible and am not expecting you to come outside your house. I can see you glancing all over the surroundings, relishing the tranquility and serenity tonight. There’s a tingling sensation all over my spine upon seeing you.

I just continue standing here, satisfied that I can still lay my eyes on you.

You look really relaxed. But when a gush of wind touches you little by little, you then automatically embrace yourself, pause and then enter back the house.

A sense of disappointment and insatiability envelopes me now. I feel like I’m frozen. It’s true. Really. I cannot move.

Mainly because I don’t want to leave this position I am currently at. The same spot where we were, the last time we were together.

Despite everything that happened between us, good or bad, hopes have not left me. I still expect that sooner or later, you will be coming back to me.

I don’t really want to leave this spot where you left me almost a year ago.

I fear that I won’t be where I should be when time comes that you change your mind and decide to come back to me.

I’ll just be waiting here. So it would be easier for you to find me. :)

Then I notice the lights inside you house winking out one by one.

Silence. It seems that everything around are ordered to shut up.

I realize that maybe I am bound to believe that my love for you, like history, repeats itself. Like a river incessantly flowing.

With silence gone again, I cherish the nature around me. The chirping birds.

The screeching owls. The howling dogs. And every part of nature that produces sound.

I open the window now. Despite the sadness, I am still glad I am able to relish the clouds. The wind. The stars.

Time seems to stop when I look at the moon. All hopes and expectations are shattering now. My heart is breaking. My eyes are now shedding tears. All these just because of tonight’s full moon.

I also realize that maybe I am bound to believe that your love for me just happened “once in a blue moon.”

I remember. It’s the second full moon of the month. A very peculiar occurrence. And that makes it uncommon. Because it’s a blue moon.

Blue moon. Your love. Both rarely happen.

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