What A Fool I Am!

Who would have thought that the cold I would easily be tamed by a clumsy girl like Loraine?

It all started with linking me with Loraine. Well, I couldn’t deny the fact that she really has stunning beauty, Einstein-like intelligence, pleasing personality, an admiring confidence and a good sense of humor. But I was not really affected by it. It’s just that I didn’t care. Maybe I fell in love mainly because of her clumsiness above all those things.

I thought I was a wild horse. I knew I really was hard to be tamed. I was stubborn you would lose all of your stored energy to persuade me. But with Loraine, I was like a jellyfish. So soft. I was like a glass. So delicate. She did not put much effort just to capture my stone-built heart.

I was fond of Loraine’s clumsiness. She did not fail to make me love her every time she stumbled down the floor, fell from the first step of the stairs, and slipped accidentally on the wet sidewalk. During those times, I could just compare her to a mirror that would shatter immediately the time it reached the floor. So fragile. I had always wanted to catch her in my arms. I was always there for her. Beside her.

We got so close we were glued to the max. I could feel her intimate feelings for me. And she could feel my poignant love for her. I loved what I had felt inside me. A feeling that was hard to resist. I thought we were okay. So, Loraine thought too.

Like a hot potato, I immediately put away my grip on her. I tried to shoo her away.

I loved her. She loved me. It’s the main reason why I let her go. I was afraid I was not worthy of her. I was afraid I would hurt her. Physically and emotionally. She besought for my return. She cried a lot. But I showed her that I didn’t care.

But it is just now that I came to realize that the moment I let her go was also the same moment I hurt her.

And I knew that definitely, I was a jerk.